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The CHinese...... ARE ELVES!!!!
"Yeah, u heard me correctly!"
"Of course. Im gonna explain about the title."
"NO, YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO MY THEORY!!!" (does JEDI Mind trick)
Ah, now that you settled down! I shall explain on why I, ADAM, have MIRACULOUSLY FOUND OUT , THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT, OF HUMAN HISTORY!!! (fanfare and drumrolls). ELVES ARE GAY!!!!!
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Nope , thats from Magic the gathering! ;-p What i meant was, ELVES ARE ACTUALLY CHINESE PEOPLE! yeah, i see your reaction is one of shock! But come on man,(or ladies *wink wink*) hear me out yeah! Hold yer horses!
Well as you know, people from long ago usually have very little knowledge about the world. Most of them even think that the world is actually flat and that their kingdom is the world world as they know it! (which is wrong cause the world do exist beyond their borders).
Man of old tell of tales of MONSTERS, DRAGONS and epic battles with mythical creatures!!! I think most of you might be familiar with the term Centaur, Kraken, and the likes due to recent movie exposure! (yeah, you people dont read books which ARENT FAMOUS).
Well, scientists have came along and decipher what all those things are. The Kraken might just be an ordinary giant scuid which incidentally was spotted swimming near the surface at night. Totally freaked out the sailors so they created an image of a terrifying BEAST to explain what they saw.
Dragons got the same treatment whereby they were just most probably a large crocodile
or a reptile of that kind. People say that a myth grow with the number of people talking about it. SO its very possible that Dragons just pop outta nowwhere from the gossips of mankind!
NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT GOSSIP DOES!!! IT CREATES MONSTERS! ;-p
IN any case, lets go to todays agenda, What makes me,ADAM, think that Elves are the Chinese? Easy!
To explain better, here's a brief explanation of what elves are (compliments of wikipedia)
An elf is a creature of Germanic mythology. The elves were originally thought of as a race of minor nature and fertility gods, who are often pictured as youthful-seeming men and women of great beauty living in forests and underground places and caves, or in wells and springs. They have been portrayed to be long-lived or immortal and as beings of magical powers.
From that explanation alone, one might not to be able to say that the Chinese are elves. But HEY lets continue!
Well in the Germany, just say, like 2 thousand years ago, many of them had the same mindset which everyone has at THAT time. So isnt it very possible to say that they met the Chinese by accident and were greatly surprised by how different they look and how advanced they were.
Okay, ill break this down so that you all could understand better. MYTHBUSTER STYLE!
MYTH 1- Elves lives in forests.
Makes sense for the Chinese to seek refuge in the forest if they actually arrive in a foreign country where people might be afraid of them, due to their looks and behaviour. Plus, the Chinese are known to be people who are highly knowledgeable of the benefits of the forest. Chinese traditional medicine is made from natural elements so it would make sense if the Chinese build camps in the forest.
MYTH 2- Elves are pictured as youthful looking man and women of great beauty.
Well the Chinese race(which i am part of *cough cough*). Are a group of people which might have seem weird at that time to the Germans if they ever encountered them. This is as the Chinese features are largely different from the Germans. THe Germans might have felt that they contain a new, never been seen beauty. And as the Chinese people, ARE SHORTER then Caucasians, so i guess it makes them look youthful all the time! ;-p
MYTH 3- They are skilled in combat.
THe Chinese are among the worlds most developed nations at that time. They have the largest battalion of ships in the world and weapons such as the bow and arrow which was the PINNACLE of warfare. Martial arts like KUng fu gave them a high understanding on melee combat. They are greatly dedicated to their art of war and hold honour from victories.
MYTH 4-The clothes they worn was nothing humans are able to craft.
Of cause, its called SILK! made from silk worms. The romans loved the silk soo much that the material as a sign of decedance and immortality. It was long after that when the Chinese actually commercialised the secret ingredient of making silk.
MYTH 5- Elves are magical and have ties with magical beasts like dragons.
This is no surprise as the Chinese was the people who invented gunpowder. The gunpowder was used to make rockets to blow up things and even as weapons. The Chinese has also myths of dragons and other mythical creatures in their culture. It is very possible the German people who were frightened at their "magic" to think that the Chinese control those creatures.
Well thats all the Myths i could think off at the moment, feel free to ask me a myth about elves so that i could proove to you, THAT THEY ARE THE CHINESE!!!! ;-p till then CHOWS!
2 comments:
Actually, the chinese rope style is just like the archimage tunic.and the study of Chi is the life energy of nauture.
You are not the first to think this. I wish that there exists scholarly investigation into this sort of Euhumeric rationalization. I also think the brownies and perhaps the dwarves were African pygmies which I think traveled most of the world. Also research when and where coked steel was first discovered.
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